there is

NOTHING TO SEE HERE

so what are you looking at?

What makes me happy

my wife

my son

writing

books

listening to music

comic books

movies

fantasy football

man's exploration of space

law & order

unemployment

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What I dislike

Working at uninteresting, unfulfilling, jobs

My wife on PMS (hey, at least I'm honest about it)

Ignorant people who are unwilling to learn

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One current obsession

Digital Video Creation

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Sequential artwork I've recently read

**** out of *****

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If I were single, here's who I'd like to ask out and inevitably be turned down by...

Sanaa Lathan

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Serialized television viewing

DEADWOOD

****^1/2out of *****


<< previous post(s)

MIT Technology Review

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Reading or Read Recently

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Listening

**** out of *****

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Cooler than a penguin's feet

Venus and Earth

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(most recent article on top, earlier articles on bottom)

July 19, 2006: 1603 hours

INTRODUCING: BLOGROLL

I kind of felt bad about not having a blog roll. In all honesty, I never really wanted one. I had something similar when I first created this blog nearly a year ago, but I killed it early on because it just seemed kind of immature to have a list of blog links; it seemed too clique-ish, too high schoolish, too fraternity-sorority-ish, in short it was too My Space-ish.

You know, "be my friend and link to me, but if you don't you're a sorry ass person." I don't need that kind of friend. Link to me if you want. Don't if you choose not to. Either way, you're still my boy, or my girl, or my dog, or my pard, or my co-worker, or my hoodrat, or my pusherman, or the guy who offers to "watch" my car for me when I park in a downtown parking lot, or whatever. Linking to my blog isn't an integral component of our relationship, even if I only know you from the virtual world.

Still, I wished there was someway to list the blogs I read in a manner that didn't seem too much like name dropping. I didn't really think about it much, but it popped up every now and again.

Then, today, I discovered a way to make this work that suits me. Under "Sites I Visit Regularly" on the right, is a link titled "blogroll." Clicking there will take you to a page that lists most of the blogs I read on a regular basis.

That's it. Have a nice day.

July 19, 2006: 1452 hours

WASTING TIME OR REPLENISHING SELF?

After working myself silly (including pushing a lawn mower around my half-acre yard when the temperature and humidity met each other around 92) for nearly two weeks straight, I finally broke down yesterday.

I didn't have a route to do so I got to sleep all night. When I awakened at 7:30, I felt both well rested and fatigued. Both my mind and my muscles felt both ways. So, although I had a mental to-do list a mile long, I decided to take a day entirely for myself. I planned to do nothing except rest, and maybe go see Superman in the afternoon. Hell, I didn't even get out to see the movie.

Still, I managed to do a few productive things. I washed and folded a few loads of clothes. I unpacked a few boxes of CDs and put them on the racks, but I didn't get around to alphabetizing them. Later in the afternoon, I picked up John, the white teenager who lived with us for a couple of months last summer after his mother kicked him out of her trailer. He needed some time away from the group home where he now lives and I was more than happy to have him visit. Hell, I was ready to have him live with up full time, but his mother was looking for an option that both freed her from the responsibility of raising him but also allowed her to retain the money the government gives her to raise him. But I'm digressing here.

As John, my son, and I were having a very fun early evening, my wife returned from work. And she came in the house as angry as a cat after a bath. I'll spare you the details, but it was not pretty. I did a better job than last time, but I came closer to succumbing to the voice of retaliation than I like.

What I hated most about the situation was having John around and providing him with an example of a dysfunctional household. The boy has seen enough of that; what he needs is to see a well functioning household. So, while I yes-honey'd and I'm-sorry'd myself to death, I got more and more frustrated that she wouldn't let up, not even one fucking inch.

Eventually, I took a walk around our "estate" and smoked a Black & Mild Mild. Afterwards, I was cool again, but one thing nagged at me the rest of the night and even now. My wife accused me of wasting time yesterday. She said I could have spent the day doing any number of things (and she mentioned quite a few) besides, as she put it, "sitting on my ass all day doing whatever the hell it is I do besides play with myself!"

Do I not deserve a day off? Because I don't have a traditional 40-hour a week job, does that mean I don't get tired when I fill two-plus weeks with physical labor and other responsibilities? Does that mean I don't get the benefit of a day of rest? And I hate to return to this, but dammit, doesn't paying 75% (or so) of the household bills provide me some sort of immunity from this kind of bullshit? I know that's not very fair, but man, I have to fall back on something here.

So now, instead of feeling good about having a day of replenishment, I'm wondering if I really only had a day of waste. That sucks. And now, as I type the words to post a blog update, I'm wondering if by not doing the very specific tasks my wife has in mind, I am "wasting time". That sucks. And when my wife returns home this evening and sarcastically asks "what did you do today?" I'll have to say anything but the truth because the truth won't lead to a pleasant conversation. That sucks. Then again, the fact that almost nothing will lead to a pleasant conversation sucks big time.

I always hear pregnant women who are in their last month or two complain that they "can't wait for this baby to be born." Well, I'm a man, but let me tell you something: I can't wait for this baby to be born!

I don't know if I can wait two more weeks. At the rate I'm going, I'm going to be smoking a pack of Black & Mild cigars a day. What's a man to do?

nothing to see here